Dear Friends,
Last week I shared the story of being verbally accosted on the steps of the Capitol in Washington, D.C. It was unsettling—but given the climate we’re living in, sadly, not entirely unexpected. The statistics from the ADL make it clear: the rise in Jew-hatred is real, and it’s touching every part of Jewish life here in America.
In times like this, it would be understandable if we responded by retreating inward. If we tucked our Stars of David inside our shirts, became hyper-aware of our surroundings, and started looking at strangers with suspicion. It’s easy—almost natural—to let our hearts harden.
And yet, while the numbers are real, they don’t tell the whole story. Most people—still—are kind, open, and good. And a story shared with me just yesterday reminded me of that truth in a beautiful way.
My friend Doron lives just south of Tel Aviv in the town of Nes Tziona with his wife Alisa and their three boys—Shai, Tal, and Niv. Doron and Elissa decided they wanted the boys to have a quiet summer, so a few days ago Doron brought them from Israel to Jordan, to Cyprus, to Athens, and finally to New Jersey. (Alisa’s visa hasn’t come through yet, but hopefully she’ll be joining them in the coming days.)
Yesterday, Doron took the boys to a diner. In Doron’s own words, here’s what happened:
“So yesterday when we were in Westfield—it was our first day in the U.S.—we were having lunch in a diner with friends. Shai and Niv (Niv is 9½, Shai is 14½) got up to go to the bathroom, and as they walked they were speaking Hebrew with each other. A local guy stopped them and asked what language they were speaking. Shai said he wasn’t allowed to answer because his father told them not to talk to strangers.
The man smiled and said, ‘Well, let me see… maybe it’s Pakistani, or Arabic… or Hebrew?’
Shai said, ‘It’s Hebrew.’
The man nodded. ‘Okay, so you’re Jews? And Israelis?’
Shai nodded again.
And the man said, ‘You don’t have to be afraid. You’re welcome here. Only stupid people hate others. You’ll be okay. We’re friends.’”
There’s a line in Pirkei Avot (Ethics of the Sages 1:15) that I’ve always loved:
“Shammai said: Make your Torah fixed, speak little and do much, and receive every person with a cheerful countenance.”
We don’t always control what the world throws at us. But we can control how we receive others. And sometimes, even a smile or a kind word from a stranger can undo a mountain of fear.
Reading the news these days, it can feel like no one greets anyone with kindness anymore. But as that man in the diner reminded me, the world—while complicated and sometimes frightening—is still full of people who are good, who are welcoming, and who want to make space for others.
As we head into the quieter pace of summer, I hope we carry that truth with us. Greet others with a cheerful countenance and, more often than not, I suspect that warmth will be returned.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Daniel Cohen