Dear Friends,
Silly as it may sound, I’ve always loved the book Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. In it, author Robert Fulghum, who happens to also be a minister, boils down the basic elements of what it means to be a mensch (my word, not his.) In the book he lists ten lessons from kindergarten that apply to everyone at any and every stage of life.
After a year as busy and challenging as this, taking a break allows me the chance to reflect on some of the bigger life-lessons that are so easy to overlook. With so many recent challenges, it is easy—and understandable—for us to lose some perspective.
I reread Fulghum’s book recently and was once again moved by his seemingly simple message. The book and the ten lessons are fairly basic. But the truths Fulghum captures are the building blocks for the type of social contract that seems to be in short supply lately.
Fulghum’s ten lessons include:
• Share everything.
• Play fair.
• Don’t hit people.
• Put things back where you found them.
• Clean up your own mess.
• Don’t take things that aren’t yours.
• Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.
• Wash your hands before you eat.
• Flush.
• Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Fulghum adds additional insights, such as:
• Live a balanced life—learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
• Take a nap every afternoon.
• Watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.
• Be aware of wonder.
Ultimately, his point is clear: the most important life lessons (aka wisdom) aren’t complicated or hidden. They are the simple stuff—learned early, lived daily—that builds a meaningful life.
And while Fulghum isn’t Jewish, that statement is about as Jewish as you can get. After all, some of the most enduring wisdom in our tradition is remarkably simple. For example:
“What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow. That is the entire Torah; the rest is commentary—now go and learn.” (Shabbat 31a)
So, I wondered what Fulghum’s list might look like if viewed through a Jewish lens. Here’s what I came up with:
Lesson 1: Share Everything
Giving doesn’t diminish us. On the contrary, generosity expands the soul.
Moses came down from Sinai glowing—literally—with divine light. Rashi teaches that he shared that light freely, yet it never dimmed. Like a candle lighting another, his flame remained full.
It’s not just about money. It’s time. Kindness. Attention. Like the concert pianist who joined a child playing “Twinkle Twinkle” onstage, adding depth and beauty to a simple tune. We can make moments memorable simply by showing up and giving a bit of ourselves.
Lesson 2: Hold Hands and Stick Together
In Exodus, when it came time to build the Tabernacle, everyone brought what they could. Not everyone brought the same gift—but everyone brought something. And it was more than enough.
“It is not upon you to finish the task, but neither are you free to desist from it.” (Pirkei Avot 2:16)
When we do our part—and let others do theirs—we build something lasting. That’s true in families, synagogues, and nations.
Lesson 3: Live a Balanced Life
Maimonides urged us to divide our time—between work, study, and prayer. Balance, he believed, isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. But it never happens by accident.
“Set fixed times for Torah study,” teaches the Talmud (Avot 1:15), because otherwise, the time will never come.
Without rest, we burn out. Without play, we forget to enjoy life. Without spiritual grounding, we lose our center.
Lesson 4: Enjoy the Cookies
Fulghum says warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. The Talmud goes a step further: “In the World to Come, a person will have to give an account for every permissible pleasure they failed to enjoy.” (Yerushalmi Kiddushin 4:12)
We were meant to savor life. To laugh. To sing. To dance. To taste. Not despite the world’s brokenness—but because of it.
Lesson 5: Wonder
The Psalmist said:
“How great are Your works, O God, Your thoughts are very deep.” (Psalm 92:6)
Every day is filled with unnoticed miracles. A seed in a paper cup. A breath. A sunrise. A child’s laughter. But we need to slow down to see them.
Lesson 6: Leave Things Better Than You Found Them
Fulghum says put things back where you found them. I’d say: make them better than you found them.
That’s the essence of Tikkun Olam—to leave a positive imprint. On your family. Your community. Your world.
If this synagogue isn’t better because we’re here, we’ve got work to do. If our neighborhood, our world, aren’t better for our presence—what are we waiting for?
Final Lesson: Life Is Short
Everything—even goldfish, seeds, and paper cup plants—die. So do we.
The Talmud tells of Rabbi Eliezer, who taught: “Repent one day before your death.” His students asked, “But how will we know when that is?”
“You don’t,” he said. “So do it today.” (Shabbat 153a)
Time flies. People we love disappear from the photos. One day it will be us. What will we have left behind?
So here it is, in the end:
Share more. Stick together. Rest. Laugh. Wonder. Do good. And remember—none of this is complicated.
But it’s everything.
And it starts right now.
Summer is in full swing. What better time could there be to start putting some of Fulghum’s lessons into practice?
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Daniel Cohen