Dear Friends,
I hope you had a good Thanksgiving and made time to step back and appreciate life’s blessings. Especially at times such as this it is important to have moments that allow us to look at the bigger picture, and hopefully gain renewed balance and perspective.
Today, I want to reflect on one dynamic we have all encountered and how we might address it.
This week’s Torah portion begins the next stage in Jacob’s life, the story which will culminate in next week’s portion, recounting Jacob’s preparation to meet his brother Esau. Years have passed since the two parted ways after Jacob “stole” the birthright from Esau and, in a fit of rage, Esau swore to kill his brother. Now years later, Jacob is preparing to meet Esau. The Torah, which is rarely explicit with regard to the emotional state of our ancestors, offers fairly specific insight into Jacob’s inner struggles. On the one hand, we see a man who is hopeful. He clearly hopes to put aside the anger and upset that initially created the rift between himself and Esau in the past. Why else would he have asked to see Esau?
At the same time, the Torah describes Jacob dividing his camp into two parts, explaining that were Esau to attack one, the other would have the opportunity to flee. Clearly Jacob is anxious.
So we see a Jacob who is wavering between excitement and fear, between hope and anxiety.
I’m captivated by the wisdom of Torah reminding us that we, as complex human beings, are often called upon to hold competing emotions simultaneously.
And as I write this, I am ever aware of the opposing emotional and spiritual tugs I am feeling in this moment.
I am grateful to see some of the hostages released. But I am also angry that they represent a small percentage of the innocent men, women and children Hamas terrorists kidnapped on October 7th.
I celebrate with those families who are about to hug their loved ones after weeks of waiting for word if they were alive. And I shudder to realize that some of the children being freed are about to learn that they are orphans.
I am grateful that this pause will allow additional humanitarian aid to enter Gaza. As I have said during my post-trip talks, my heart breaks for those innocent Gazan civilians who have suffered or died during this war. Yes, I blame Hamas for using them as part of their “tactical plan” to further erode international support for Israel, but that doesn’t make the horrific images coming from Gaza and the loss of life, the actual numbers of which will only become clear after the war, any less horrific. But I am also fearful that, during this pause, IDF soldiers in Gaza may be more easily targeted and Hamas will have the opportunity to regroup.
These conflicting emotions are understandable. But that doesn’t make them easier to hold.
That was true for Jacob. It is true for me. And I suspect it may be the case for many of you as well.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Daniel Cohen