Dear Friends,
Tomorrow evening’s communal Slichot service at the JCC in West Orange is the formal start to the Holy Day season. It is a reminder to set time aside for introspection, to reflect on the past year, and to begin to do the work to heal the hurts we may have caused.
When I sat down to write this final Shabbat message of 5784, I had the fleeting thought that in the context of the past year and the ongoing challenges we are encountering, such reflection may feel trite or inadequate. But then I realized it is exactly the opposite. In a world that suddenly feels unsettled and increasingly hostile to our people, we need to rely on our connections to one another and God more than ever. Teshuvah—return and repentance—opens the door to renewed and deeper connections.
There is a story that drove this point home for me this morning.
After a long, hard climb up the mountain, the spiritual seekers finally found themselves in front of the great teacher. Bowing deeply, they asked the question that had been burning inside them for so long: “How do we become wise?” There was a long pause until the teacher emerged from meditation. Finally the reply came: “Good choices.” “But, teacher, how do we make good choices?” “From experience,” responded the wise one. “And how do we get experience?” “Bad choices,” smiled the teacher.
Yes, the mistakes and missteps we make are mistakes and missteps. And yes, too often our mistakes and missteps impact and hurt others, requiring us to make amends. But missteps and mistakes are part of the human experience. It is why even an individual who takes repentance on Yom Kippur as seriously as possible is expected to be in synagogue the following Yom Kippur. No one, not even the most sainted of people (and none of us are), NEVER misses the mark.
But as that teacher taught his students, perhaps our mistakes and missteps are actually opportunities for learning and growth. They are inevitable, but HOW we respond is not. Do we rationalize our failings? Do we blame others for them? Or do we recognize that we have work to do and then set out to actually do it?
And this is the ultimate irony—and blessing—of this period; oftentimes, when we recognize our shortcomings and sincerely work to make amends and learn from them, we deepen our connection to one another, to ourselves, and to God.
As a Hasidic teaching states,
Every human being is tied to God by a rope. If the rope breaks, and is later fixed with a knot, that individual is connected ever closer to God than if there never were a break in the rope. Thus, errors, mistakes and failures have the potential of drawing us even closer to God.
And what is true of our connection to God is also true of our connection to others. And if ever we have needed that connection it is now.
I look forward to seeing many of you at Slichot tomorrow evening and at TSTI when we welcome the New Year next week.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Daniel Cohen